The Beautiful Widow Page 11

  Steel nodded. ‘Go on.’

  ‘Apart from the original sitting room, which is quite wonderful as it is, there seems to be several small rooms downstairs as a result of the extension done to the original building. You don’t need a morning room and a snug, not when you have a dining room and study and second sitting room already. If you sacrifice the morning room to extend the entrance hall to make more space as you come into the house, the snug could be changed into a downstairs cloakroom.’ She paused for breath.

  ‘Could all that be done without ruining the original features?’ Steel asked thoughtfully.

  Toni nodded, her face animated as it always was when she was starting a new project. ‘Absolutely, and I know of a wonderful reclamation yard as well as a supplier of beautiful limestone that would look just right in the entrance hall. Upstairs if you sacrificed two of the bedrooms and divided each into two bathrooms, four bedrooms could have an en-suite. I’ll draw that up for you later. And the master bedroom is more than big enough to incorporate an en-suite as it is. That would just leave the one bedroom next to the present bathroom and it would be easy to knock through. This would mean six bedrooms all with en-suites, which I think is preferable to eight without.’

  ‘I agree.’ He smiled. ‘I was right to bring you.’

  ‘The main sitting room, or drawing room I suppose, would be more imposing if four-panel doors were used to create a double-width entrance, but that’s just a suggestion. It’s fine as it is. But overall I think you need to be careful to create a look that’s easy and timeless, something opulent and in keeping with the period feel but not heavy or dark. The mullioned windows are beautiful but they don’t let in as much light as modern ones, so we need to concentrate on pale fabrics—creams and duck-egg blue and ochre for example—and do away with all those dark, patterned carpets. There are wonderful floorboards underneath them—I’ve checked. They’d only need to be sanded and sealed, and rather than hide them you could enhance them with rugs. Thick, luxurious ones in light shades.’

  She came up for air to find Steel smiling at her.

  ‘What?’ she asked warily. Why was he looking at her like that?

  ‘Sounds great. You’re in charge.’

  ‘In charge?’ she echoed faintly. The way he’d said it.

  ‘From start to finish and down to the last teaspoon in my new kitchen. Run with it. Forget the other projects. I can get those sorted. I want you to concentrate on this from now on. I only want to know if there’s a problem. Otherwise, you have a free hand on the alterations, colours, fabrics, everything. And I don’t want to see it until it’s finished, OK?’

  Her face registered alarm. ‘Steel, this is your home we’re talking about. You’ll have to choose the kitchen you want and so on. I couldn’t possibly presume to speak for you; you might hate my taste.’

  ‘No.’ He grinned at her, but for once she was too wound up to notice. ‘I trust you implicitly.’

  ‘It’s not a question of trust. It’s a matter of taste.’

  ‘But you have perfect taste, Toni,’ he said solemnly.

  ‘You know what I mean. It’s not like these are apartments or something. I couldn’t take over completely.’

  ‘You can’t do your job?’ He raised one eyebrow.

  ‘This is not my job,’ she protested adamantly.

  ‘You are employed by me as an interior designer and I’ve asked you to be in sole charge of a job from beginning to end. It’s as simple as that. I have no experience in creating a family home, which is what I’m wanting here; furthermore I’d find the details tiresome. You have free rein with the financial side and money is not a problem.’

  ‘But you must see that the house will be as I’d like it, which isn’t necessarily how you’d feel comfortable. I shall need to consult you on furniture and fittings at least.’

  ‘No.’ He settled back in his chair, his eyes bright silver as he gave a small laugh, low in his throat. ‘And forget what the apartment in London looks like. I want a change, OK? Like I said, this house is essentially a family home—you can feel it in the very brickwork. Obviously I’m not a family man but that’s of no matter. When people walk through the front door I want them to feel a woman’s touch in the place, something warm and welcoming. My sister and her husband will visit often; I want their child to feel completely at home here.’

  Toni grabbed at his last words for normality; she was feeling knocked sideways by the responsibility of what he was suggesting. ‘How is Annie?’ she asked weakly. ‘The baby must be due any time.’ Cowardly to change the subject, she knew, but she’d come back to his amazing declaration when she’d had time to think about it.

  ‘As we speak,’ he agreed. ‘Far from coming early, it now seems to want to remain where it is. She was due a couple of days ago but the doctors are satisfied all is well.’

  ‘At least it’s given them a chance to get everything ready.’ Annie and her husband hadn’t wanted to know the sex of the baby and so Jeff had arranged for the room they’d designated as a nursery to be painted in a pale lemon, according to Steel, who had insisted on buying all the baby furniture and equipment as his present to his nephew or niece.

  Their meal came in the next moment but, although her steak pie was delicious, Toni found she’d lost her appetite. Steel had well and truly stepped out of his box this time and it disturbed her. He always disturbed her, but this time it was different.

  A family home. She worried at the thought as she ate, like a dog with a bone. Was there someone in his life he’d kept hidden from gossiping tongues? A woman he perhaps felt he could settle down with? Someone special? And she’d have to be special to keep Steel. Someone very sure of herself, the way women constantly threw themselves at him, with a wit and intelligence to match his. Beautiful and confident enough to deal with any women determined to oust her from his affections, and strong enough to cope if the worst happened and he grew tired of her. A wonder woman, in fact.

  She chewed slowly, the steak tasting like sawdust in her mouth. And why was she so upset at the notion of Steel with another woman? She would never want to be with someone like him in a month of Sundays.

  The thought carried no weight, simply reminding her of her inadequacies. She was ordinary and always had been; he must have always been extraordinary to get to where he was now, and it would need a woman of the same ilk to hold him.

  She found her insides were trembling. From the prospect of renovating and overseeing the job of making his house into a warm, inviting family home? No. From imagining Steel living there with the woman who had captured his heart? Maybe. Almost certainly. Which made her the biggest idiot in the world.

  She pushed her plate away, the meal half eaten, and made the excuse she’d had a big breakfast as Steel raised his eyebrows and asked if she’d like something else.

  As he shamelessly reached for her plate and deposited the contents on his own, she watched him as he tucked into the food with every appearance of enjoyment. What was it to her if he had met someone or did meet someone in the future? And why was she thinking like this today?

  One of the barmaids appeared at his elbow, ostensibly to ask if they’d like more drinks, but as Toni watched the young girl flutter her eyelids at Steel she noted none of the other diners got such good treatment. The barmaid’s blatant come-on confirmed everything Toni had been thinking and surprisingly steadied her. It was an answer to a question her mind wouldn’t let her formulate.

  She managed her treacle pudding and custard, and, when Steel’s eyebrows rose again, smiled, before she said, ‘I’m a dessert girl. I always have been.’

  ‘Annie’s the same. It used to be a battle to get her to eat her meat and veg if she knew a nice pudding was waiting.’

  ‘You always speak of Annie as though she was your daughter rather than your sister.’ It was out before she had thought and when she realised how personal it sounded she blushed a bright pink. He had no need to explain anything to her.

  Steel didn’
t seem to notice. Quietly, he said, ‘I guess that’s true in a way. I brought Annie up after our parents died and I’ve always felt responsible for her.’

  ‘That must have been hard at times when you were younger, before she met her husband.’ Part of her couldn’t believe she had the temerity to delve like this; the other part desperately wanted to know what he would say. ‘Didn’t you feel tied down?’

  He looked down at the glass in his hand, clearly thinking about what she had said. His black lashes were thick and long for a man, thought Toni, but they only added to his masculinity somehow. A touch of softness emphasising the hardness.

  ‘At the time I think I just got on with it,’ he said after a moment or two. ‘And I did still manage to have girlfriends. I wouldn’t want you to run away with the impression I was a monk or anything. But after she met Jeff I have to admit I felt a weight had been lifted off me. Not that I didn’t love her and want to take care of her,’ he added quickly, ‘and no one forced me to do it. There were other members of the wider family who would have taken her off my hands but I didn’t want that. And I’ve never regretted those years. Not once.’

  But they’d taken their toll. She realised he was letting her see a part of him that few people—if any—saw, and her heart swelled with an indescribable feeling before she took check of herself. This was still Steel Landry, she cautioned. Bachelor extraordinaire and magnet to any woman who set eyes on him. Keeping her voice even and bland, she said, ‘Which is why you value your freedom now, of course.’

  ‘Why I have done in the past, yes.’

  Her breath stopped. He did have a woman, someone so precious he’d kept her from public gaze. That was what this ‘family’ house was all about. The knife-like pain that shot through her made her stomach muscles clench.

  The waitress popped up again like a genie out of a bottle with their coffee, and in spite of the girl’s gooey glances at Steel Toni silently blessed her for the much-needed moments to pull herself together. As the waitress sashayed off Toni took refuge in the mundane. ‘They must be really excited now the time is so close when they’ll see their first child.’

  ‘I guess so.’ He nodded slowly.

  ‘Have they decided on names yet?’ she asked woodenly.

  ‘Names?’ he echoed abstractedly, his eyes on her face.

  ‘Annie and Jeff? For the baby?’ She couldn’t blame him for his blank expression. One minute they’d been talking nitty-gritty ‘feeling’ stuff, and the next.

  He didn’t bat an eyelid. ‘Charles for a boy, Eve for a girl, at the last count, but it changes with the wind.

  We’ve had every name beginning from A to Z; Annie’s had too much time to think.’

  ‘Poor Annie. The last few months have been difficult for her.’

  ‘Poor Jeff. This weepy thing women go through in pregnancy has thrown him for six. He can cope with concepts that blow the normal human mind and technology that would have floored Einstein as easy as pie, but Annie crying sends him into a spin.’

  ‘That’s because he loves her,’ Toni said quietly.

  ‘Yes, he does.’ Steel gave a crooked smile. ‘He loves her very much.’

  There was someone. She knew it. Toni took a gulp of her coffee and scalded the back of her throat. He was so different today, so not the Steel of office hours. And this was the man all his girlfriends saw; someone infinitely more devastating than even the powerful, ruthless tycoon she had become accustomed to. No wonder his women became obsessed with keeping him, as the unfortunate Barbara had done. How would you get over someone like Steel? Or perhaps you never did.

  Suddenly she felt she was in one of those dreams where she knew it was imperative to escape the unseen threat bearing down on her but only to find her legs were like lead and she was unable to run. She blinked, taking a deep breath, and the panic receded, leaving her slightly shaky.

  ‘More coffee?’ Steel said softly. ‘Or a brandy?’

  ‘No. No, thanks.’ She met his eyes, hers veiled. ‘I really do need to get back to the office, Steel. There are several things I have to deal with today.’

  He nodded, standing up and reaching for her coat on the back of her chair. As he helped her into it she was conscious of a feeling of disappointment at his easy capitulation and chided herself for her inconsistency. She really had to pull herself together, she told herself with uncomfortable truth. She was acting like a naive schoolgirl rather than a mature woman with two small children.

  It was bitterly cold outside; the frost had barely dissipated at all and where the sun hadn’t reached the ground it was as slippy as walking on glass. As her feet slid from under her Steel’s arms shot out and caught her before she could fall, the momentum bringing her hard against his chest.

  She wanted him to kiss her more than she had ever wanted anything in her life. The knowledge was there as she stared wordlessly up at him, and then he bent his head and fulfilled the longing that had burnt her up for six long months. He kissed her thoroughly and with an enjoyment he made no effort to hide.

  His lips were cool and firm and tasted of the mints the waitress had brought with their coffee, and when his tongue swept inside the sweet honey of her mouth her senses went haywire. He withdrew after a few moments, only to begin the invasion anew and this time his head tilted to give his searching mouth full access. The kiss was everything she remembered and more.

  Toni found herself arching towards him with a wantonness that would have horrified her only minutes before. Her lips moved instinctively, trying to deepen a kiss that was already immeasurable, and she clung onto him as though she were drowning.

  One of his hands moved at the back of her neck and the next moment her hair was loose, cascading about her face as he threaded his fingers through it, supporting her head as he continued to explore her. His other arm was round her waist and she was moulded into the bulk of him, gloriously close.

  She didn’t think about anything but the feel and taste of him; he’d obliterated the past and future and the present was purely sensation. She was conscious of thinking that she didn’t want the kiss to end, that she wanted to stay like this for ever, wrapped in his arms in the frosty air.

  But, of course, it had to end. He raised his head slowly but didn’t let go of her, wrapping his open overcoat round her so she was enfolded even more closely into him. ‘Wow,’ he breathed softly.

  Her thoughts exactly. She blushed, still lost in the grip of sensual desire, but as the door to the pub opened and she heard voices she pulled slightly away, suddenly shy.

  Steel smiled, putting his arm around her and keeping it there as they walked to the car. They didn’t say a word, but once inside the Aston Martin’s leather-clad interior he turned toward her and kissed her again, a light kiss, brushing her lips with his own. ‘I’ve waited six months to taste you again. I’m not going to wait another six months,’ he growled huskily. ‘In fact six minutes would be pushing it.’

  ‘Steel, this isn’t right.’ Somehow she found her voice. ‘I can’t do this.’

  ‘Yes, you can.’ He refused to accept her self-denial. ‘Look how easy it is.’ The third kiss was scorching, as he’d meant it to be, and she felt the impact right down to her toes.

  Feeling trapped—whether by him or the strength of her reaction to him, Toni wasn’t sure—she struggled away from him, leaning against the passenger door as she gasped, ‘You don’t understand.’

  ‘Oh, I do, Toni. I do. Believe me, if I didn’t understand I wouldn’t have waited six months. But no more. You can’t deny there’s something between us. I don’t know if you’re ready to hear this now, but I’m going to tell you anyway. I want you. You turn me on with your velvet-soft eyes and silky skin and gentle ways; in fact you send me crazy.’

  She stared at him, hardly able to believe what she was hearing. This couldn’t be her he was talking about.

  ‘I want to make love to you; I spend most of the day thinking about it and then when I go to sleep it’s worse. The things we indu
lge in at night, Toni …’ He leant slightly closer, not touching her with any part of himself yet enveloping her in his body warmth. ‘It’s driven me insane playing the boss when I want to be much, much more to you.’

  ‘I’m—I’m not what you want,’ she whispered.

  Steel expelled a quiet breath. ‘Yes, you are.’ He reached out and touched her lips with his finger. ‘From the moment I set eyes on you, in fact.’

  ‘That’s—that’s just lust, sexual attraction.’ She let her hair fall forward, hiding her expression. ‘You didn’t even know me then.’

  ‘But I know you now. I know so much about you now, and you know plenty about me too. What have the last six months meant to you, Toni? All those chats late at night when everyone else has gone? Did you look forward to them? Enjoy finding out little things about me?’

  She wanted to sag against the car door as his words hit home. It was only in this moment of blinding truth that she realised she’d lived for those times with a strange, intense excitement that had no rhyme or reason. ‘You did that on purpose?’ she whispered helplessly.

  His smile this time was merely a twitch. ‘I scared the hell out of you six months ago and I didn’t want that to happen again. You didn’t trust me, maybe you still don’t trust me, but we’ve moved forwards quite a way since then. Not enough—’ this time his smile was self-deprecating ‘—not when I want to know you inside out; how you think and feel about everything, especially me. And I’m not talking about your sexual desire here. I know you have the taste of me and want more from the way you respond when I so much as touch you. But that apart, how do you see me? I asked you that once before and you didn’t answer me. Why was that, I wonder?’