Snowbound Seduction Page 16

  ‘What happened wasn’t your fault, Zac.’ She was horrified by the depth of pain in his face. ‘It wasn’t you who caused it.’

  ‘It felt like it.’ He shook his head. ‘And there was Moira so sick…I would have done anything to make it right for her, to atone for how I’d felt and our son’s death.’

  And when that had gone wrong too, he had turned himself into an island, an autonomous being, choosing women of like mind who were content with the superficial. ‘Oh, Zac.’

  ‘I told you.’ He forced a smile that wasn’t a smile at all. ‘My life’s a mess. I’m a mess, deep inside. But I do love you, Rachel. Believe that if nothing else. Over the last couple of weeks that one truth has kept me going.’

  She wanted to believe he really loved her, more than anything, but could someone like her ever be enough for someone like him? All her self-doubt and insecurities rose in an overwhelming flood. Shakily, to gain time to bring her chaotic thoughts into order, she murmured, ‘Jennie? She knew you’d be here today?’

  ‘Not until this afternoon. I turned up on my aunt’s doorstep, knowing you’d said you were spending Christmas with Jennie this year, and threw myself on her mercy. I told her everything, what a fool I’d been and that I loved you, and she suggested I talk to Jennie before she let me stay. She didn’t want you upset.’ He smiled ruefully. ‘Jennie’s parents think the world of you, you know. They said you’re like one of their own daughters.’

  She hadn’t known.

  ‘And so I phoned Jennie on her mobile. Apparently the two of you were in a pub, having just had lunch. We talked—at length—and I finally managed to convince her that I was on the level. She ripped a strip off me, I can tell you. A lioness with one cub couldn’t have been more fiercely protective.’

  Dazedly, she said, ‘She didn’t say.’

  ‘No, well, she wanted to have a word with me in the flesh before she let me see you. It was along the lines of “You treat her OK or else you’ll have me and the rest of the clan to answer to”.’ He shook his head. ‘Formidable lady, my cousin.’

  Rachel looked at her hand on his arm, her head spinning.

  ‘You can trust me, Rachel,’ he said softly. ‘I don’t expect you to believe that straight away, not after I’ve messed up so badly, but let me show you bit by bit. I’ve told my parents all about you and they want to meet you when you’re ready, but there’s no rush. I’m staying over here for as long as it takes to gain your trust; I’ve spent the last week or so putting things in place back home. I haven’t taken a proper holiday since goodness knows when so my father agreed he owes me.’

  He’d taken her hands in his but she still kept her eyes downcast, fighting with herself, fighting with everything inside her to believe he meant what he was saying. ‘Canada’s your home,’ she managed at last.

  ‘And a beautiful one, you’d love it. But if you want us to live here, that’s OK too.’

  ‘Your job, the family firm…’

  ‘My father’s able to run the business with a good manager and he’s more realistic than my grandfather was. He knows nothing lasts for ever. It wouldn’t break his heart to sell the business one day. And when I was over here at the beginning of December a couple of guys I spoke to put feelers out to see if I was interested in a job, so…’ he shrugged ‘…anything’s possible if, if you want me.’

  If she wanted him? He was holding her hands entwined against his chest and she could feel the steady thump, thump of his heart, smell the clean, sharp scent of his aftershave. She swallowed, gathering all her courage as she met his eyes. ‘I couldn’t bear it if we got together and one day you fell out of love with me,’ she said with simple truth. ‘I’d rather have nothing at all than risk that. There’s so many lovely women…’

  Her face was naked with fear and he gathered her closer, kissing her tenderly. ‘I’m a far from perfect male, as I’m sure you’ve worked out,’ he said when his mouth left hers. ‘The first part of my life I’ve made a mess of, and when heaven showed itself I turned tail and ran like a jackrabbit because I hadn’t the guts to face up to what was in front of me. Not exactly the greatest confidence-inspiring résumé, I know. But one thing I can promise you is that I’ll love you more than life itself until the day I die. I’ve known lots of other women, Rachel, but none of them have ever touched my heart. To me you’re utterly special, adorable, beautiful, unforgettable, and I’ll prove it to you for the rest of my life if you’ll let me.’

  Her senses reeled as she drowned in the gold of his eyes. She could never love anyone like she loved Zac. This was real, this was for ever, and she had to reach out and trust what she was reading in his face. It was all there, the love, the longing and the wonder of it unlocked her voice. ‘I love you,’ she whispered, shyly almost, ‘so much.’

  His mouth took hers and, careless of where they were, he kissed her with rising passion, his hands moving over her body as he touched her with hungry, intimate caresses.

  ‘I love you, my darling,’ he murmured against her mouth, ‘and I know I ought to wait, to give you time to get used to this, but I can’t. Will you marry me, Rachel? Will you be my wife, my love, my life?’

  He brought a little velvet box out of his pocket and when he clicked it open she saw an exquisite diamond cluster engagement ring nestling in a bed of satin.

  The snow was still falling thickly outside the car, but inside, all the joy in the world was concentrated on that one tiny box. ‘Yes,’ she said, her eyes shining, and he slipped the ring on to her finger where it fitted perfectly. As they did.

  It was some time before they left the car and went into the house to find Jennie sitting waiting on the stairs, biting her nails in an agony of impatience. Everyone squealed and cheered and clapped their hands, even the tiny tots who hadn’t a clue what was going on but recognised Christmas magic when they saw it. With Zac’s arm tightly round her and beaming faces everywhere, for the first time in her life Rachel felt part of a family. Loved, appreciated, wanted.

  And later that night, once everyone had retired and they were sitting together in front of the dying fire, loath to part to go to bed, they loved and talked and loved again. ‘Our first Christmas together,’ Rachel murmured dreamily, glancing down at the glittering diamonds on her left hand, hardly able to believe that everything that had been so wrong was now so right.

  ‘And by next Christmas you’ll be an old married lady, perhaps even with a baby on the way,’ Zac said huskily.

  A baby. Zac’s baby. She turned into him, her mouth seeking his, and when the kiss ended they were both breathing hard. She had already decided in her heart that she would move to Canada. There was nothing to hold her here and real friends like Jennie and Susan could come for holidays and she could visit them. Zac’s work and family were in Canada and she wouldn’t take him away from them.

  ‘Would you object to a winter wedding?’ Zac had pulled her onto his lap and she wound her arms around his neck. ‘I thought February would give you time to get a dress and I’ll find a venue and see to everything. I don’t want to wait a day longer than we have to. I want, I need to know you’re my wife.’

  She gazed at him, misty-eyed. ‘You’re a man of extremes, Zac Lawson.’

  ‘You’d better believe it. I’m going to devote my life to extremely loving you,’ he promised softly. ‘Starting now.’

  And no one could say Zac Lawson wasn’t a man of his word.

  EPILOGUE

  ZAC and Rachel had their winter wedding and everyone said it was the most beautiful day. All their friends and family attended, a huge contingent arriving from Canada. Rachel had been nervous about meeting Zac’s parents but she needn’t have worried—Zac’s father was just like Zac and his mother was the sweetest person and clearly thrilled her son was finally settling down at last.

  Rachel had thought long and hard about inviting her mother and sisters: she didn’t want the most important day of her life ruined by her mother’s spitefulness, but she could hardly invite Lisa and
Claire and their families and leave her mother out. In the end, Zac took charge and went to deliver the invitation personally. Exactly what was said that day Rachel never knew and didn’t want to know, but on their wedding day her mother behaved impeccably, which was all Rachel wanted.

  They honeymooned in the Caribbean for a month and then flew straight to Canada. Rachel fell in love with Zac’s house the moment she saw it. It was larger than he’d led her to believe but very private with its own woodland and extensive grounds. Inside, the old mellow oak floors, huge windows with panoramic views over magnificent countryside and massive window seats to curl up on thrilled her.

  Zac had given her carte blanche for a complete refurbishment of furniture and fittings if she so wanted, but in the event she changed very little except for adding some feminine touches here and there and changing the colour scheme of the master bedroom from dark coffee and oatmeal to a softer gold and cream.

  After a settling-in period when she met Zac’s friends and extended family properly and got to know his parents well—his mother was over the moon they were staying in Canada and opened her heart and her home to Rachel as the daughter she’d always wanted but had never had—she applied for, and got, a job as a marketing executive for a fast-food chain. She didn’t need to work but she wanted to, and Zac backed her all the way. As he did in everything.

  For the first time in her life Rachel knew what it was to have someone who was absolutely hers, who put her first in every regard and who worshipped the ground she walked on. It was heady: it made her feel she could take on the world and win, although the only person she practised her new self-confidence on was her mother. Zac had made it clear to Anne Ellington that if she wanted to stay in contact with them she treat Rachel with the respect he commanded, and Anne complied as meekly as a lamb. In truth, she bathed in the reflected glow of what she saw as Rachel’s triumph in making such a wonderful match, boasting to all her friends and neighbours about her daughter’s ‘handsome millionaire husband’.

  Happy months flew by, months of love and laughter and much healing—for both of them. And as Christmas approached, it was decided Jennie and all her family would come over for the holiday, along with Susan and Henry, who were getting married the following spring. Zac’s parents’ huge, sprawling, colonial-type house could accommodate most of the English guests, but Rachel wanted Jennie and Susan and Henry to stay with them.

  And so it was on Christmas Eve, as the five of them sat toasting muffins and eating roast chestnuts in front of the roaring log fire and a red sunset bathed the scene outside the window in a scarlet glow, Rachel took Zac’s hand and tapped on her mug of hot chocolate for silence.

  ‘We’ve an announcement to make.’ She looked at Zac and his golden eyes were luminous with love. ‘Seven months from now you’d better keep the date clear to come over and see our baby.’

  ‘Rachel!’ Jennie and Susan squealed and flung their arms round her while Henry smiled and shook the proud father-to-be’s hand, and then it was champagne all round except for Rachel, who was on orange-juice.

  Later that night, as Rachel lay curled in Zac’s arms in the warm afterglow of their love-making, she felt him stir in his sleep and murmur her name. He often did this, and as always she whispered, ‘I’m here,’ and watched his handsome, hard face relax and his breathing steady. That he loved her with such a consuming love that even in his sleep he needed reassurance was a miracle to her, but she knew now that to him she was everything.

  And she? She was home, at last.

  ISBN: 978-1-4268-7593-9

  SNOWBOUND SEDUCTION

  First North American Publication 2010.

  Copyright © 2010 by Helen Brooks

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